Me & the Moon

Why Full Moon Offerrings? 

They are everywhere these days and have become a bit of a marketing hook to get people in the door.  But I have to tell you, from the bottom of my infinite heart, how deeply I resonate with the lunar energy and how my work came to be.  You see, it unfolded over time.  Years, maybe millennia, from a shared communal connection to the moon and her pull, her sway, to something much more specific and directional. She led me to uncloak information in the darkest of darks that came from many traditions over time and space and that required nothing less than to leap into her shadows to know the secrets that lie there.  My moon training is by no means traditional.  Although I have done my share of research and study through both Astronomy and Astrology to understand her waxing and waning and her continuous cycling.  I have also been trained to work with womens rhythms, their cycles and to understand the wisdom through reflection that the moon provides.  

But thats not even at the heart of my path, of my work.  I live in ceremony with the moon at all times and hear her whispers, and sometimes her desperate calls, as she directs me to work in specific ways through monthly patterns and flow.   It is absolutely not just about me showing up and “going with the flow” and being spontaneous.  I don’t work with the moon because its “cool” or “trendy” or even “fun”.  Its actually, an incredible service and an enormous amount of work to be fully present with her. Before each lunar event, I go deep into meditation to listen to and respect her guidance for that particular creation.  For this reason, no two moon events are ever identical AND it is almost impossible for me to script the details too far in advance. 

Her overall guiding message is to be gentle and nurturing for even as her work contains and embraces the shadow, we must remember that this life, that this being, is fragile and delicate and must be held with the utmost care and tenderness.  I use sound mostly now, but in the past I have used dance and movement and art and silence as my main tools.  The sound in collaboration with my Moon offerrings is very consciously crafted to move through cycles for connection, which, by my training and experience, requires the most reverential approach for establishing long lasting quality harmony within each person present.  This harmonizing requires an intimate knowledge of ceremony and discernment that cannot be learned quickly or superficially, but takes place over a long un-folding, over a lifetime, and many lifetimes.  

The moon, she is powerful.  And we would be best served by respecting and honoring her power with those who have dedicated themselves to guiding on her behalf. 

Blessings on this moon, and always.

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Thursday, April 19, 2018

Energy Musings.  Here. Now.

The energy of this moment.

What happens today, when you stop.  Just stop.  Like right now.  STOP!

Stop doing, stop trying, stop moving.  Really stop.  How long does that “stop” take?  As you ‘stop’, what parts of you have stopped?  what parts of you keep going?  Did you really stop?

Stop the excess.  The extra.  The “more than”.  Stop the thoughts, the mindlessness, the triggers.  Stop being lost.  Stop creating suffering.  Stop worrying.  Stop projecting.  Stop.

Then ask: What is essential?  What never stops?  What is vital to your being?  What is vital to this Earth?  What is vital to life as we know it?

We stop so that we can listen, see, hear, feel.  So we can notice.  So we can pay attention.  So we can create IN-tention.  We stop so that when we “go” we go forward with clarity, connection, calm, centeredness and true discernment.  We stop so can remember who we are, why we are here and what are work is.

Sometimes, we think of a stop as a “pause” or a “time in”.  But really, that pause must be a full on, no faking, 100 % STOP.

I remember once a cop pulled me over at a stop sign.  He noted that I came to a sort of “rolling stop” but not a full stop, and he kindly and patiently explained the difference.  A Full Stop is just that: giving your wheels the full amount of time to truly and completely stop.  And then waiting (like a full breath!) before you start again.   And when you start again, it feels like you are starting from the the very beginning.   Like when you first start your car in the morning. How long had I been mostly coming to a “rolling stop” at stop signs and not even noticed?  After that, I paid much more attention to stop signs.  I was grateful to this police officer for calling my attention to a place I had lost awareness.  Now, when I come to a stop sign, (especially the ones back in quiet neighborhoods where I find its easiest to sort of kind of roll to a stop-ish, and keep going because its clear no ones around…) I really, truly STOP.  This is my practice.  And it feels different.  I notice what it means to stop and what it feels like to start again from a place of really stopping.

When did we lose connection to what it really feels like to stop?

Today, re-connect yourself to the experience of truly stopping.  Throughout your day, as you remember to, whenever and wherever you are.

Stop.  Look.  Listen.  Then see how the very next moment unfolds for you.

Word of the Day:  Stop!

Song of the Day: Stop and Smell the Roses by Mac Davis

The cult of the new

I only need one Gong.  One Crystal Bowl.  One drum.  One.  Only One.  More than one confuses things, can create chaos or can shift the focus.  The mind, the being then is trained to want more, to desire bigger, to yearn for “better”.  Both in the one who is receiving the work and, more problematic still, in the one who is guiding the work.  By “better” I don Not mean in the sense of of what is truly best for us, but in a false perception that more is better.  that bigger is better.  that larger, that stronger, that higher, is better.  

Perhaps this is human nature. The tendency to get caught in the trap that we need MORE.  That somehow, in this very moment, we, it, they, us….. are not ‘enough’.  That somehow if only:  we had more money, a new job, a bigger house,  more trainings, more tools, better marketing… that we’d take off and fly and leap into the life of our dreams. 

 I am here to hold the space of understanding that includes the life of our dreams as it is here and now. This heaven on earth. Through the radical lens of acceptance.  Not through the lens of wanting, desiring or grasping.    We have lost touch with the most fundamental knowledge we possess:  the completeness of simplicity, the truth of this moment, the wholeness of our being which needs nothing more to be Full except this very breath.  In fact, I don’t even need the Gong, or the Bowl, or the Drum or any “tool” at all.  And neither do you.  All the work, the depth, the transformation, the shift, the release, that you long for, can be achieved by simply sitting in silence together. With one who knows how to guide in the dark and in the stillenss. I don’t even need any technique, no scripted visualizations or guided imagery, no mantra or meditation ‘style’, no book or quote, no message cards or fun games,  none of it.  That is the truth.  The only truth. Every tool we use is in essence an illusion.  The danger being, we can confuse the path itself for the ultimate goal.   We can confuse the ‘method’ of our choice for the end result.  Then we will be stuck forever, on this treadmill of thinking we are progressing, but really being stuck .  We might be stuck in an “ok” place and so that may feel “ok”.  And we might even register “ok” as ‘good’! But sooner or later, sooner or later, our soul remembers its eternal longing and realizes it has been tricked and this is when we truly wake up.  And I must tell you, it is a rather rude and shocking awakening. (set apart by the many false awakening that arise in ones life which are often described as “aha” moments) And in that moment, we understand that we truly need nothing and we let it all go, without any hesitation. And then, only then, do we really know what it means to fly.   

Wo-manifesto for a new world.  

Part I.

I am weary of the masses.

of the places of the things of the activities of the drinks of the foods of the people

that are popular that are trending that are cool that are unique that are interesting

that are, “new”

I am wary of the multitude.

of the misplaced power in the perception of community

that is lacking any real depth, real connection, real “unity”

that at best, scratches the surface and at worst, totally distracts us

from the true work, the true change, the true collective.

I don’t want to chase the shiny objects, I don’t want the eye candy, I don’t want to feel clever and hip because because I do or have done the latest thing, because I know how to fill a room or because I have the most toys.  so there.

I don’t really care about any of that.  I don’t need to feel included.   I don’t need  approval.  My life doesn’t depend on societies conditions of success.

not anymore.

not anymore.

not this societies at least.

Pay attention to what is next.

to what color, to what season, to what style, to what animal, to what word, to what dance move, to what place, to what thing is suddenly what everybody’s doing now.

This is our drug.  Our collective addiction.

This is our prison.  Our self created cage.

This is our illusion.  Our mutual fraud.

And its time to come clean.

I’m ready.  And I’ve been ready for a long long time.

Are you?

Show me.

Let(’s) go.

Thursday, April 5th, 2018

Energy Musings. Here. Now.

Today!

How are you?  No…. really.  Move inside yourself, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself “how are you?”  “how am I?”.  And then Listen.  Listen to your Self.  Listen the way you would listen to a dear friend.  With patience and true care.  With all your attention focussed on the listening.

At first you might get the stuff on the surface, the stress from work, the business of your days, the tiredness in your body, etc.  This, you probably already know, but still…. listen.  Then just keep asking “how are you?”  like a mantra repeated and just keep waiting, listening, patiently.

Ask your bones, Ask your tissue, Ask your cells…. How are YOU?  Ask you organs, your blood…. How are you?  Ask you mind (be ready for an earful!)….. How are you?  Ask you emotions, feelings, sensations….. How are you?  Ask your eyes, ears, mouth, nose, throat….. How are you?

Ask and ask again.  Without any expectations. Without any need to change anything.  Without any necessity to do anything. Just to listen and ask and listen and ask and listen and ask.  How are you?

Ask you breath…. How are you? And let the breath show you the breadth of its wisdom and knowing. Let it move through every part of you and reveal the inner landscape with its keen awareness.  Listen.  Listen. Listen.  Listen to the breath.  Really get to know, How you are.  And then keep asking, throughout the day:  How are you now?  How are you Now?  How are you now?  And notice, notice the shifting or rigid landscape that is your experience.  Notice what it means to be tuned in to you.  Notice and love and hold and be patient and kind.

How are you now?

 

Song of the Day:  Hello, I love you. by the Doors

Art &….

Recently I read something that triggered me.  It was an innocent enough description of a process of “art” making that involves following a kind of formula to create what they call: drawings that are “free from the anxiety of drawing” so you can embrace your inner artist, trust your instinct and let your creativity flow.

The truth is, this description made my heart hurt.  Made me literally want to cry.  It felt so utterly mis-directed to me about the one thing I hold absolutely dearest in my life and soul:  Art.  I felt sad beyond belief for the need to compartmentalize “art’ in this way. For the fact that people even need to create this kind of offering.  It felt to me, like the black hole of ART.  My initial physical response was to take a rapid deep inhale and my whole body said “Oh NO!  Don’t got THERE”. Like I want to save humanity from jumping off this particular cliff because I can see where it leads…. and it ain’t pretty.

But first, I had to let go of (or try to at least!) any judgement around this particular process so that I could come a place of clarity and discernment.   My belief system holds that when you clear away the mucky stuff (judgement, over analysis, expectation, false knowing, etc), you can come to the place where there is truer understanding of whether something is helpful, harmful, a good idea or a distraction. This place of discernment, in and of itself, is NOT judgy. Something can honestly have positive or negative impacts pending your desired outcome or intention.  Its kind of like when we think about a persons ‘behavior’ being disruptive in some way without intending to imply that the person themselves are disruptive.  Just because the process may be problematic, does not mean theres any ill will from the people leading the process or that the individual pieces of the process are problematic either.

But back to the “Art” class.  It has become fashionable to throw the term “Art” around so that everyone and anyone can participate and feel like they are an Artist.  Which, ironically, they already are anyway.  And, just to make it more trendy, we like to combine Art with all sorts of things now…..Art & Wine, Art & Dance,  Art & Yoga, Art & Meditation, Art & the Chakras, Art & Chickens, Art & Rollerderby, Art & Skydiving, Art & ….. AND the list goes on.  I assume here to make it more ‘accessible’ or ‘interesting’ perhaps?  None of these combination in and of themselves is ‘bad’.  And I’ve taught many of them (working on the Rollerderby bit… tricky to organize).  And again, the illusion here is in the perception, not in the Art itself.

How these offerrings are actually led/guided and taught and WHO is actually leading or guiding makes a tremendous difference.  Not to mention, how they are marketed, who they are trying to attract and where they are being taught.  I’m not particularly interested in prioritizing what is ‘successful’ in terms of bringing in the most people, being popular or making the most money. I’m concerned with what elevates us, and I use that term most carefully, to a place of deeper understanding about ourselves and the world.

I am reminded of a conversation with a student recently who was commenting on the common parlance among yoga teachers these days, I think it was about a comment such as “All levels, bodies, types…. are welcome in my class”  (or something like that)  and she said “You know, ALL yoga teachers say that (substitute in whatever you want for the “That”!), but they all mean really different things by it.  You have to do your work to find out who really means it. “

Anyone can claim to integrate “art” in their practices, but who really means it?  You might start by asking them: What Is Art?

This is where I believe, the divergence lies.  As someone who has studied, taught and created Art, both professionally and personally, for her entire life, who grew up in a family of Artists and who always thought of art kind of like breathing….. its just what you do….this question touches my heart and life deeply.  Not because I think I know more, or because I have studied longer, but simply because it is truly Who I Am.

What is Art?

Well, for starters, Art is not imitation. Art is not knowing how to follow directions.  Art is not easy.  Art is not quick. Art is not something you learn a process to ‘do’.  Art is not formulaic.  Art is not for profit.  Art is not something you judge.  Art is not good or bad or ugly or beautiful.  Art is not created to match the living room couch.  Art is not created to hang in frame on a wall.  Art is not an idea.  Art is not a method.  Art is not a place to show off your skills.  Art is not therapy (although art therapy is its own legit thing).  Art is not pretty.  Art is not repetitive.

Let me put something out there to consider. Art is real. Art is enough. Art is like the breath.  ART IS.  In and of itself.  When guided as an authentic process.  With patience and learning and understanding.  Art will teach you everything about this world, your life and your role in it.  Art is as deep a reflective and transformative process as any spiritual pursuit, as uplifting and mobilizing as any creative endeavor,  and as skillful and knowledge filled as any science.  There is no need for Art AND.  Art AND Nothing. For that matter…. Yoga AND Nothing.  Meditation AND Nothing.  These are all comparable processes that lead you to transformation through careful study and ability.  Why the need to combine them in “new” ways?  In actuality, we do them a huge disservice through many of these combinations.  We miss the point entirely.  We create distraction instead of progress.

I’m fascinated by this when it doesn’t make me want to bury my head in the sand and cry to the earth.

So back to the original post I read.  Heres the stinger for me “free from the anxiety of drawing”.  I need to take a long slow breath here to even continue.

Drawing is prayer.  Drawing is a discovery.  Drawing with authenticity is a personal journey of deep understanding. If there is anxiety around that, theres personal work to be done. Or a total misunderstanding.  The drawing process itself and finding your path through it can address the anxiety.  But not in one 90 minute class.  It takes time, commitment, patience, love, determination.  It takes mastery, courage and yes, actual learning. There’s a whole language to absorb that you then have at your disposal to create with.  Theres no skipping steps.  It is, in fact, a process.

So Instead of the commitment, we change the parameters of the drawing process.  To make us feel better?  To make it more “accessible”?  Why?

No … really…. WHY?

I’m suspect of anything that in the long term serves as a distraction or an escape because we are overwhelmed, tired or agitated in the moment. Lets deal with our “overwhelm” ing feelings and beings rather than to look the other way and stuff our challenging feelings in a box for temporariy relief.  Hell, lets do that together and muck through the journey with our hearts wide open and our minds freed and our footsteps bravely forward charting truly NEW territory.  Not what the mind wants to convince us is new through the lens of what is “unique”.  How’s this for something new:  slowing down, looking around consciously, taking a long deep inhale,  and bravely being STILL instead of running all the time.  We can do this through meditation, through true yoga, and yes, through ART.  Real Art.  But we must practice keeping it Real.  Supporting each other authentically.  Walking each other home.

Thats my journey, at least.  Its not the easy way necessarily, or the fast way, or the way that makes you feel like you’re a star or an artist or a badass….. at least not immediately.  Theres not immediate gratification as we are used to or want. Although, it depends on what you find gratifying.  Because, sooner or later, you come to realize you already ARE all those things anyway when you stop distracting yourself through these clever disguises we have so creatively designed.

In fact, you find, we all are.

 

You are Already There.

A breath in, a breath out.  One breath.  This breath.  This very one.  It connects you to the moment.

The Truth is: We are always in this place, this moment. This life IS a mediation.

The Journey is: We return to this realization over and over and over again until the re-membering is a part of us.  Until we are living it in every breath.

This balance of awareness and understanding with what already is present brings us into our true alignment. With what already exists.  There is nothing to “do” here, nothing to “be” here.  We have a proclivity for making everything more complex than it needs to be.

Just remember.

Remember who you are.

The breath will show you everything you need to know.  Stop looking outside yourself for the answer.

Just breathe.